27 February 2012Seeing a homeless man wake up on the ground and then walk away with a stiff back reminds me of me. I used to think the one advantage to a stiff mattress or park bench was the comfort in knowing you would have a nice straight spine. But seeing this guy in pain after waking up on cement reminds me that back pain is universal.
05 July 2012Elbowing.
12 August 2012today I served and volleyed and sat. tennis should be played in a pool on days like this.
04 August 2012Even my mustache seems sad.
04 July 2011After returning from a quick trip to the middle east it is clear to me that most of the fighting is shade related. They are fighting over the shade. That's it. The heat hurts. I told customs that I was there to tell jokes. they didn't believe me. So I told him I was there for the cool desert summer breezes. He asked where I was from and I said the sun. I've included a picture of a ski resort in a mall in Dubai. I didn't ski because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop at the bottom of the slope where a cutlery shop was located. I felt I would ski through the window and behead myself. The first self inflicted decapitation in the middle east would be me. Why'd they cut Kirk's head off? Because he wouldn't stop. Wouldn't stop what? Skiing.
23 October 2012How to rock a camping trip. #howtorock saturday night on nickelodeon
15 October 2012About to attempt to break David Blaine's record of 63 hours in block of ice. Also going for most ice cream sandwiches consumed in an hour.
30 August 2012In the future I fight crime without a mustache. Not sure how this will work. It has always helped me forget how loud guns really are.
10 June 2011Donal Logue and myself were going to fly with the Blue Angels but we forgot our jump suits and they didn't have any extra jets. It was just one of those days when we couldn't get our shit together. We did our part for the fight against terror that day by keeping an eye on the food for the pilots and holding our ears when they flew over too low.
07 February 2013So excited about my new office. And they validate!
17 May 2012I have a feeling this mood elevator only goes down.
26 May 2012The most recent photo of the loch ness monster just happened to be at a Thai restaurant in hollywood. #padthai
I'm the host of the new daytime talk show THE TEST. www.thetesttv.com
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